Circa Summer 2001, ~ 8 B.H.
Junior year of HS had ended for Commack's IB class of '02. After attending nearly two thirds of their classes that year, the IB kids were burnt out and ready to party. Cam's parents were out of town. About 40 of us made our way out to his swanky Country Woods home to celebrate life.
At around 10PM, the doors open... The crowd is ready to party! And then after consuming a quarter beer..
The doors lock!! Kadam quickly learns that he can't drink for shit. He drinks a quarter of his beer before rushing to the locked bathroom, pounding and yelling. Entry denied. He stumbles his way hopelessly into the living room, only to see 25 or so classmates hovering on the balcony above. Game over! Out goes the quarter beer and Chinese dinner onto Mrs Cam's oh too white living room couch. Who else but our legendary future Hipster walks out of the bathroom, fully adorned in his typical Russell athletic-wear, laughing hysterically. "PUKE KING!! PUKE KING!!" the drunk crowd bursts into a raucous chant..
Fortunately for Kadam, the crowd is distracted when all of a sudden..
Anakin and Kalka Fett start carrying all the furniture out the back door! Couches, tables, lazy boys, nothing is spared. The boy across town behind the invisible door laughs evilly at his manipulations..
Meanwhile on the upper wings of Camhilot..
Typhoon breaks down the master bedroom door! The legendary "Typhoon" is full of heroic energy after skipping first period for an entire year. He watches as bighearted "Pickles" escorts his girlfriend into Cam's parents' room. Naturally, Typhoon subconsciously thinks all his good friends are closet rapists, and tidal waves the master door into oblivion! Poor Pickles hadn't even gotten to first base yet.
Finally..
The master shower door comes unhinged! Anakin and KFett rush breathlessly upstairs, feverish upon hearing the sounds of Typhoon's destruction. They quickly resolve that it would be "ludicrous" for the shower door to remain, given that there was no longer a bedroom door! It doesn't take them long to remedy the situation.
And so sums up the first IB party of the Summer of '01. Kadam went on to have a cult like following senior year as the Puke King (also known by some as the Duke of Puke and the Earl of Hurl). Pickles broke up with his girlfriend. Anakin helped a buddy pay off Chinese poker debts with his new lazy boy. And Cam went to boarding school the next year, never to be seen again.
P.S.
Just kidding! A bunch of us devoted a good portion of our paychecks that summer to restore the Doors of Camhilot to their former glory. We were the good kids, after all.
Up next: "The Magic Emperor"
